Loud & Clear

facing the dark

I’ve been on a blogging fast for the last three months. It was unannounced, for which I apologize. With the realization of my job transition out of a Communication Director role into a Campus Pastor role, I knew I needed to draw away for a bit to prepare.

In my reading today, I came across a section that spoke to why I felt the need to pull away. Solitude has not always been a strong spiritual discipline in my life but has become more and more important in these last days. Here’s why:

Only those who have been brave enough to ride their own monsters of anger and greed, jealousy and narcissim, fear and violence all the way down to the bottom will find a truer energy with which to lead. Only those who have faced their own dark side can be trusted to lead others toward the Light.

This is where true spiritual leadership begins. Everything that comes before is something else.  -Strenghening the Soul of Your Leadership pg.44, Ruth Haley Barton

This speaks what I could only feel before. When it’s time to step up, it’s time to step away to take measure of what lies beneath waiting to rise up and destroy everything you’re trying to build. And not that we have the capacity or strength to change ourselves, but God who is within us shapes and calls us toward who he has already made us to be. It’s through surrender and disciplining ourselves to obediance that we are positioned to have God work through us, to accomplish what we are called to do.

When was the last time you took a good long look at what’s lurking beneath the surface in your life? How long since you got away and spent some time in solitude with God and let him wrestle those things to the surface? Can you afford to wait any longer?

the big news

It doesn’t take a degree in economics to know that we’re in a deep recession. Many families at Clovis Hills have lost their jobs and homes and many others can see it from where they are. Just as our families have been impacted, so has our church budget.

Last week, I was called into a meeting with Steve, our lead pastor, and Greg, our exec pastor. I learned that they were eliminating seven positions at Clovis Hills, five full time and two part time. Part of those lay offs was the dissolution of my department, Communications. This includes myself and my assistant Thilani.

I’ve been through this before, a couple times. I know what it’s like to look out and wonder what God is doing and what’s next. God uses times like this to create dependency on Him. He uses it to challenge our faith, our worldly view of security and most importantly our walk.

In fact, for the last six months I’ve wrestled with a restlessness in my spirit, knowing that God was preparing me for whatever was next. The word I got from him was, “Whatever you do next will be something you’ve never done before.” A hard thing to grasp since I’ve done so many things here there’s not much left to pick from.

So, when I walked into that room, I was prepared. I was at peace. God had been prepping me for months for this moment. What I didn’t expect was that the next thing would show up right in that meeting.

I was offered something different. Very different. A campus plant in Firebaugh. It seems there’s several families in that area that have been attending Clovis Hills over the last six months who approached Steve about helping them plant a church or campus in that area, reaching out to both Firebaugh and Dos Palos. The offer was to spearhead whatever that campus would evolve into.

WOW. It was terrifying. It was exciting. I thought about all the things I’ve done at Clovis Hills. Student Pastor. Worship Leader. Performing Arts. Weekend Service Producer. Communication & Marketing. Many of the skills I’d need to accomplish this new work.

I took a solitude day that week and drove out to Firebaugh with my wife. We just wanted to be in the town, drive around, meet some people and spend time in prayer. During that time, God gave me twelve specific scriptures affirming his call on me and what he is doing in Firebaugh. In fact, he told me it was something he was already doing. It’s his work, I just get to be a part of it. It was the last piece of the puzzle.

I’ve officially accepted this new position. I’m still on staff at Clovis Hills and have an office at this campus. And that’s about all I know. I’ll meet these families in the coming weeks. I’ve a whole department to transition out of, setting up systems to keep everything flowing. I have more questions than answers. But if you know me, that’s pretty much heaven for me. Discovery, learning, creating, building relationships and stepping out in faith. There’s nothing better than that!

Please pray for the other folks who are transitioning out. Everyone’s still employed through May with ample leeway to discover what God has next. Pray for hope and peace. Pray for provision. And pray with expectation for what God is going to do through our church and our staff, those leaving and those remaining.

One of the verses God gave me during my solitude time was a promise of what’s to come:

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

let’s see it

I love a little view into other people’s world’s. Gene started it with an original post. Then Luke and Dana blogged theirs. So here’s mine.

There are some things I like immediate access to for functionality, hence the widgets. I wish TweetDeck was a little cleaner, but haven’t found one better for desktop that lets me manage groups, search, etc. Click for a bigger view.

What’s your desktop look like?

guiding principle #3

These are my guiding principles. When I’m unsure, can’t hear God’s voice or filled with indecision, these are my defaults. These are what I know and will measure against.

GUIDING PRINCIPLE #3
“Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another…” Hebrews 10:25

This has been a huge learning for me. I use the excuse that I’m an introvert (a high functioning introvert), so my preference is to be more isolated. I’ve also used the excuse that I’m at church every week and have many conversations with close friends each week. But in my heart, I know that’s not what this verse is talking about.

This is about being connected to a small group of people I’m encouraging, are encouraging me and growing in faith.

God calls us to be in relationship. He commands us to love each other. He calls us to serve each other. He calls us to humble ourselves, to right broken relationships, to put others ahead of ourselves. He tells us to encourage each other.

He told us in John 14 & 15 that if we love him, we’ll obey his commands. See Guiding Principle #1.

When we isolate ourselves out of relationship with him and others, we find ourselves in a prison of our own creation. We become trapped by sin, guilt and self deception. Conversely, we find redemption, freedom and real life change inside the context of walking not only with God but other believers.

This is the beginning of the litmus test guiding principles. This is the first measurable by which we can see if our actions are aligning with our profession of faith.

Are you in a small group or acountability relationship?

my new nephew

Any day know I’m going to be an uncle. I’m pretty excited. I can’t wait to meet him. I hope I recognize him from his picture.

dog bit

Yesterday I came home for a video cast by Tony Morgan of Perry Noble answer questions live about NewSpring Church, ministry and church in general. While I was watching two of our dogs Sonny and Scout got into a fight.

Short info on the dogs. We have three.

Scout is our oldest dog, I think she’s 9 years old now. She was a gift from God to us. That’s a longer story better told another time. She’s a Pit Bull and is like a child to us. She’s the silent Alpha dog. She doesn’t growl or bark to be that way. She just calmly does what she wants and ignores the protests from the other two.

Sunny is our youngest dog, is about a year and a half. She’s a Lab / Rottweiler mix, we think. We got her from the pound as a puppy. She’s built just like a lab but with all the markings of a Rott. She’s a giant puppy. Loves to play, snuggle and just be near you. However, lately she’s been vying for the Alpha position with Scout which has led to some scraps.

I missed what caused this one, but in a second the fight was on. Since Sunny is so much taller, she’s usually on top. So I grabbed Sunny’s collar but when I went to grab Scout’s, she got free from Sunny’s grip and turned her head up. Of course it was right there and she bit me hard on my right hand.

Now, I’ve been asked several times why I stuck my hand in the middle of a dog fight. Everyone knows better than that right? Well, the answer is simple. I’m not Michael Vick. I’m not going to just watch my dogs fight until someone wins. And honestly something primal goes off in me when it happens. I’M the alpha dog in my house and they’re going to know it.

Anyway, I got bit and I when I snatched my hand back I let go of Sunny. They moved away a bit to our bedroom door. I grabbed Sunny’s collar again and was able to kick Scout away. Once they were apart, Scout moved off to the kitchen and I was able to shut Sunny in our bedroom.

I looked at my hand. It was bleeding pretty bad. Then I looked around. There was blood on the wall, our bedroom door as well as the laundry room door next to it. And I was dripping onto our carpet. There was blood smeared on the wall, my bedroom door and the laundry room door. Drops of blood had fallen all around on the carpet. It looked like a crime scene from CSI!

I flexed my fingers to makes sure nothing was broken and could see I’d be fine.  I went to the bathroom to wash my hand off and that’s when the adrenaline crash hit me.

I got dizzy and by the time I started running water over it I couldn’t stand anymore. I sat on the toilet lid and had to lay my head on the counter running the water over my head for a good ten minutes before the dizziness faded.

Eventually, I restabilized and called my wife, Jen, at the office. While I was waiting for her, I naturally Tweeted about it complete with a TwitPic. (see My Twitter on the right side of this page) As I sat waiting for Jen, Scout came up to me looking as ashamed as a dog can. Tail between her legs, she just laid her head on my knee. Jen was home shortly after and off to the emergency room we went.

After a long, but not terminal wait, the doc saw me. I have a pretty good inch long laceration through the epidermis, exposing the dermis beneath. If it hadn’t been a dog bite, he would have stitched it. But since it WAS a dog bite, he decided not to. It seems every person with a dog bite on the hand he’s stitched up came back in a few days with a raging infection. By stitching it, he locks the bacteria inside the wound. So no stitches.

I’ll have a bigger scar now, but no infection and that’s always a good thing. And that’s the story of the time I got dog bit.

guiding principle #2

These are my guiding principles. When I’m unsure, can’t hear God’s voice or filled with indecision, these are my defaults. These are what I know and will measure against.

GUIDING PRINCIPLE #2
‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind.’ This is the first and most important commandment. The second most important commandment is like this one. And it is, ‘Love others as much as you love yourself.’ Matthew 22:37-39

We call this the Great Commandment. Jesus said it was the first and second most important commandments in the Bible. Will I love God today? Will I love people? Will this choice I make demonstrate my love for God or others? Did I live out these commandments today?

If I love God, I will keep his commandments and his greatest two are all about loving him and other people. He says if I do that, I pretty much follow all the other commandments in the Bible.

What an awesome default! What an incredible freedom! I don’t have to worry about withholding from sin, I can engage in love.

It’s no easy thing. I wish it was. But that’s ok. God has grace for me. Because this is born out of a belief that shapes my attitudes which influences my actions.

I read this morning in my devotional.

“I don’t just do what is best for me; I do what is best for others so that they may be saved.” 1 Corinthians 10:33

This is not about me. It’s about becoming like Christ. It’s about looking and wanting to please the one I love. And the more I love others, the more I do both of those.

How does it play out? This shows up in some of my other Guiding Principles. But at the end of the day, when people look at my life, I want them to say- “Here was a guy that really loves others.”

Does your life reflect a love for others?

guiding principle #1

So God has been doing something cool inside me lately. One of the things he’s doing is anchoring some core scriptures in my heart that are what I’m calling guiding principles.

There’s times when I’m facing choices or situations I need God’s direction and I don’t hear him giving me a clear answer right away. These aren’t always huge, life altering situations or choices, just ever day stuff. That’s when these Guiding Principles come into play. They are my default settings. When I’m not sure about what’s going on around me or even in me at times, these things I know and will help me know which way to go.

GUIDING PRINCIPLE #1
“If you love me, you will obey my commands.” John 14:15

I love this scripture. It’s a reminder this faith we’re called to is not about religion. It doesn’t say, “Obey my commands.” It says “If you love me…” It’s a litmus test. It reveals where we are in our spiritual growth. It shows the depth of our relationship with Jesus.

When I’m faced with choices, temptations or emotional swings, I can default to this scripture. “If you love me, you’ll obey me.” It’s that simple.

Do I really love him? How much? Enough to do what he asks me? Do I really believe and trust him? If I do, then my choices just got a little easier to make.

If I don’t, then it’s time to take a look inside and see what’s keeping me from trusting and obeying.

This works out in our lives two different ways:

We’ll obey some of his commands simply because of what he’s done in us.
Because we love him, we obey him.

The other part however is harder. This part is an act of obedience.
We obey him, because we love him.

Either way, it pulls me back to center as I seek to continue to grow in my love for Jesus Christ.

What are your choices revealing about your relationship with Jesus?

christmas shopping

Today, we set out to put a sizable dent into our Christmas shopping. This will be Rohan’s first big Christmas (meaning he’s old enough to be excited about it) so we’re trying to make a little go a long way.

Now check this out. We counted today and we have 13 nieces and nephews between us with another on the way. That’s a lot of little gifts!

Why give that may gifts? I’ll tell you why. Because we love them. And we want them to know we love them. Only one of those thirteen actually live in town with us so quality time isn’t really in the works. However, our influence with them and their families is huge. A little gift can go a long way to building and solidifying long distance relationships. And that’s important to us.

That doesn’t stop me from having the goal of inviting all of them into a plan to pool that money into doing something significant for those who have nothing.  We’re not there yet, but I’ll be working on it.

Any of you done something similar? How’d you get the extended family to go along?

good to be back

So double meanings with the post title. I’ve realized I’ve fallen off the blog wagon again. It happens every now and then. Being an introvert, blogging is sort of anti-natural for me. But I’m finding when I don’t, I start to miss it. So, it’s good to be back.

Church was awesome yesterday. I loved the interactive worship experience with the stories of people who are really living out their faith in service to God. Micah Mirides was one who shared her story. She just got back from serving two years in Ethiopia. I feel so blessed. You see, I was the one who baptized her. I’m very proud of her.

Also yesterday, I played two new original songs during the Lord’s Supper. I confess I’d been feeling pretty insecure about the whole thing. It’s been a few years since I’ve done an original live at church. But Frank and Doug were awesome on the accoustics and made them sound way better than I could have imagined. The whole thing really felt right and I could sense God’s pleasure. There’s something that just feels right when you exercise your giftings to glorify God.

What giftings should be/are you using that can glorify God?